Family of Strangers

My grandpa [mother's father] is in the hospital.

I went and visited him last night with my mom. I prepared myself for the worst. I knew he was in the ICU and unconscious [I later found out that he was sedated and not comatose, which made me feel better]. As expected he had an overwhelming amount of machines surrounding him and tubes inserted and taped all over his body.

Preparing myself for the visit I was unsure of how I would react. My grandpa is Korean and neither him nor I ever learned enough of each other's language to converse. All I really know of him is that cheesy smile he gets when I say hi and the pat-pat hugs he gives me. Since we weren't close I didn't think I would cry unless he looked to be writhing in pain. When we went in the room he looked peaceful so I thought I avoided the crying bit. Then the nurse came into the office to do a routine check up.

The last thing the nurse did was clean out my grandpa's mouth. My grandpa could feel it and did not like it. He kept making an unpleasant face, the most he could do to show discomfort due to the sedation. Once the nurse was done my mom went over and stood next to him. After looking at him briefly she asked me for a tissue. I gave her one and then she dabbed the tissue in the corners of my grandpa's eyes.

He had tears.

That's when I broke. Even though I've never been close with my grandpa I suddenly felt a connection. I'm sure I would've had the same reaction if it was a complete stranger, but regardless in that moment I felt a bond with my grandpa that I never felt before. I can't explain it and I don't know how long this bond will last, but for one bittersweet bipolar moment I felt that we belonged to the same family.